I am singing at a wedding on the 23rd. I am very blessed to have been asked to do this, even a little surprised. This is an important day. I love all the songs that I am singing and have heard various recordings, no telling how many times. When I sing these songs, I feel, not a beating heart, but the empty hole in my chest drying out. Of course I believe in love. I love my friends and my family, probably more than I love myself, but to love a significant other, there is no way. You see, I loved with my whole heart, but he didn't love me. Now I am stuck and I feel as if I am lacking in something. No other person could ever be as good or better as him. So, here I am, alone, singing these awesome love songs that I don't believe.
Since I have been out of school for Christmas break, all I do is play, sing, and listen to music. It’s like breathing for me. All I seem to think about lately is my future, and it’s almost here. I have one more semester of school, then the plan is to work all summer, student teach in the fall, apply to UNT Denton Jazz voice program, Songwriting School of Los Angeles, and City College of New York. If I don’t get in anywhere, I am moving to Austin in search of an elementary teaching position. There, I will play at every venue that allows me, and continue working hard so that I will eventually get in somewhere. I am doing this because it is the only thing that makes me happy.